She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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