haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
