Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
