perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
