Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize