1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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