Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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