what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
