I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
