I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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