I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
