I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's like heaven, but drunker
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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