Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize