I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
be right there i have to get my cape
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
