Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize