I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
