we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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