She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
