just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
