She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
