Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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