The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
