dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
