My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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