We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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