Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize