he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dear god my vagina.
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