ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
