operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
