I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
