Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
