I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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