We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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