That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
