i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
