i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
True strength comes from lack of pants
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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