you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Randomize
