I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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