I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
