No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
