It's like God shit irony all over that family
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
