mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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