then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
