is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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