threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
