how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck appropriateness.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
