I swear she didn't look like that last week.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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