is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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