I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
