So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Randomize
