pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm jealous of your bromance
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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