And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
