my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
