I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
