Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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