My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
