I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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