Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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