And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
