some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
