Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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