I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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