I love black thongs
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
